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Balancing children and dating

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If the other person has children as well, it might be wise to orchestrate early get-togethers with just one set of children. But you also need—and here’s where single parents fall short—a silhouette of the type of family you are hoping to create.

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As much as possible, you should keep the fact that you’re dating quiet and out of sight of your kids, especially with younger children.You’ll always be anchored by your family life and dropping the bomb that you have kids on the fifth date isn’t likely to go well with potential mates. It’s bound to come up, anyway, when you have to get home early to relieve the babysitter or a baggie of Cheerios falls out of your purse.All this being said, being a mom isn’t the only thing you do. When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster.She does and says things without recognizing that to some extent our whole family is dating this guy.’ Yes, well, that’s because you were with your boy.” Dating for two is difficult; dating in a crowd is downright complicated.

The kids are engaged, at least on some level, even when you don’t think they are.

These women know 5 important things and you can make their wisdom work for you.

Be Open About Your Family Life You children should always be your first priority at all times and that means you can’t pretend you’re a free bird when dating.

Talk about your career, your hobbies, what you like to read.

In fact, the less said about your kids at first, the better.

Navigating multiple new relationships can be overwhelming. Yes, not liking the fit between the person you are dating and your kids is a deal breaker, even if you love him or her as a partner. Getting smarter means learning all you can about how stepfamilies function, operate best, and why they have the unique complexities that they do.