Why is dating so difficult
When the stress lessened, I stopped paying attention to myself and started paying attention to my date.
Breaking off communication with someone I had nothing in common with, or at least who was missing qualities I was looking for, became easy.First date failure, whether because she wasn’t what I was looking for or the reverse, was very difficult.It always felt like starting all over and was always painful.You stop enjoying the relationship for what it is and start craving validation and confirmation that it’s “the real deal.” And there’s only one thing that manifests from that place… QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?These days, people are quick to throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is.I’ve had some of my female readers complain that the term neediness makes it sound like I’m framing women as weak, fragile, insecure creatures that just cling to men (and stress them out). I think women bring a tremendous strength and power to the table in relationships…
when they have access to it and are free of their own fears. Those fears are greater now more than ever really since there’s an entire industry devoted to making sure men and women are wrought with insecurities so they buy products (sowing in and agitating tiny insecurities is the bread and butter of the marketing world).
In order to have a truly fulfilling relationship (or even start a healthy relationship) with a great guy, you need to come from a place of strength, confidence, and fulfillment.
Whenever a relationship goes sour (or fails to launch), it’s almost always caused by some tiny fear, doubt, worry or insecurity that grows and festers until you feel overwhelmed by the whole ordeal. Your fears and worries compel you to confirm whether they’re real or imaginary.
The confusion of first-dates was disappearing altogether. I hadn’t even thought that having fun could be a part of online dating but as I grew more comfortable, I had more fun.
I still wasn’t the most confident guy (for example, I still wasn’t randomly asking girls out in public) but I was becoming very comfortable on dates, which gave the appearance of confidence. Less Stress With dating multiple women, there was always another first date on the horizon. I lost my hell-bent desire to make every date go perfectly.
Early on I was always in a panic-mode: trying to make sure everything went perfect on every date, overly concerned about the happiness of my date, worried about the impression I was making and so on.