Topics conversation online dating
That’s the beauty of a network that knows no boundaries…unlimited options for everyone.And if you find that the people YOU like are out of your league, well then start running laps and learning a new language, because online dating with not help you fake out someone for long, buddy.
If you could sit front row at a concert, what one would you go to? If you could sit front row at any sporting event, which team or event would you see?Would you go out on a blind date with someone from the Internet, sight unseen? So even if you want to come back to them later and put in something REALLY good (see Tip 3), fill out all of the fields, upload some of your Facebook photos and stop whining, because otherwise you’re standing in the doorway and complaining that you don’t like the house.As with any social environment, the first thing someone notices about you is what you can display from across the room.If you’ve been back to the same person’s page 10 times today, it’s time to send him/her a message, otherwise you might become known as a ‘lurker,’ essentially the Peeping Tom of the online dating world, who is basically there to look at other people’s profiles and do god-knows-what while looking at them. Thirdly, if someone sends a message to you, it’s usually good form to send them something back.Now, if their message to you is at all off-putting (sexually-charged, offensive, too short to glean anything from, etc), then just delete it and go on with your day.Hopefully I don’t have to go any further with why this is the wrong approach because, damn, it’s REALLY the wrong approach. This is a rule that applies to interacting in person as well, but it’s especially important in the online dating scene because it can be hard to get people to reply to you (whether due to the massive amounts of mail they get everyday or simply because they don’t know how to respond to your list introduction [see Tip 6]).
The far better tactic is to take it slow, like you would meeting someone in real life (generally, at least..maybe the person above is used to doing the same thing in person? Introduce yourself in a way that is clear enough that the other person isn’t freaked out or caught off guard, but intriguing enough that they want to write you back, find out more, and strike up a conversation. Asking a few intelligent, well thought out questions, however, gives them a reason to respond, while at the same time showing something about yourself (‘if he knows enough to ask about that, he must be an MGMT fan, too! Asking good questions can help you steer the conversation while at the same time allowing you to be an active listener; that is, you are totally focused on what the other person is saying, and therefore finding out exactly what you want to know about them (which is one of the benefits of online dating…if you find out they are a Neo-Nazi or infrequent bather or something like that, you can ease your way out of the conversation by not asking any more questions).
In the real world, this usually amounts to how you dress, how you style your hair, how polished your shoes are, etc.
In the wonderful world of online dating, however, you have myriad different levels of information you can display.
This means you have a lot of opportunities to shine, but also a whole lot of opportunities to foul up big time.
Starting out, know what image you are trying to get across and what story you want to tell.
It’s amazing how many people will complain that they’ve had no luck with online dating and then I’ll take a look at their profile and there won’t be any pictures and most of the fields aren’t filled out.