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Funny dating opening lines

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(Programming intern, Microsoft IIS development team) 4. This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it.E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) 6. Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.

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I’ve got to make every second count How can you tell the gender of an ant? If it sinks it’s a girl ant, and if it floats, it’s a buoyant. Despite the goal of protecting people from drugs, its punitive approach has instead increased the dangers of these substances and demonizes the communities most impacted by them.It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale.The following dialog ensued: Proctor: I beg your pardon? I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale. At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale".Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.The vintage date on a bottle of wine indicates the year the grapes were picked, not the year of bottling. You can still make her eyes roll back in her head, but now it's out of annoyance. Your response to a cute, 16-year-old high school student with tight jeans and an exposed belly? "A Go Pro camera mounted to the Weldcraft fishing boat captured the frantic seconds as the Bayliner Trophy motorboat speeds directly at them.

To determine the percentage of alcohol in a bottle of liquor divide the proof by two.5. The anglers can be seen waving their arms and yelling in an attempt to get the other boat to steer clear How should one approach an easily startled red head?

When I told my Boss, he said she died so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year.

He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday.

"Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh (pronounced as Van Go) His dizzy aunt -------------------------------------------------------- Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes------------------------------------- Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store -------- Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia ---------------------------------- U Gogh His magician uncle -------------------------------------- Where diddy Gogh His Mexican cousin ---------------------------------------------- A Mee Gogh The constipated uncle ------------------------------------------- Can't Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt ------------------------------------- Tang Gogh The bird lover uncle -------------------------------------------- Flamin Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking --------------------- Way-to-Gogh The little bouncy nephew ---------------------------------------- Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco ------------------------------------------- Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh I saw you smiling . A woman at dinner with friends dares to bring up the sexual misconduct allegations against Aziz Ansari. He won by a narrow margin, and continued patrolling with the puppet.1.

All of a sudden a hushed Tone comes across the dinner conversation, because no one really wants to talk about the me to movement Contestants compete on What Even Matters Anymore, hosted by Veronica Elders (Jessica Chastain). As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards.

He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists) 10.