Doctor dating advice
"Sit him down, take a deep breath and say: 'Here's what happened and here's why it upset me. '"But don't hold your partner accountable for others' actions, just as you wouldn't want to be on the hook for something your mom or best friend did.Instead, discuss how you can eliminate the potential for problems in the future.
"Now I remind him to make a mental change from work travel mode to fun vacation mode when we take family trips," says Michelle.When your husband complains, be a good listener, but only for a few minutes, says Bowman.He may not realize he's being a downer, so after he has his say, point out the bright side and then tell him it's time to switch gears, she suggests.The fight: "You're constantly complaining."Everyone has the occasional bad day, but if your ranting hubby is frequently sucking the joy out of your time together, get his complaining in check.That's what *Michelle from Oregon had to do after her husband groused about little things on a family trip, like stepping off the airport security line so their son could finish a drink he couldn't take to the gate.For instance, when he hangs out with his old college roommate (the one you can't stand), have alternate plans for yourself.
Or the next time his mom criticizes your parenting in front of the whole family, he'll speak to her about it privately.
After that, come up with ground rules about disconnecting, whether it's during meals together or for an hour each night. If he slips up, which he will at first, Puhn recommends saying something like: "Was that text important, or did you just forget our new rule? " If your mate isn't following the guidelines at all, sit down and re-discuss what works for you, she says. Women put the burden on themselves and personalize things," says Lombardo.
The fight: "I feel like it's all on me, all the time."Besides growing exhausted from doing every chore on your own, you may also begin to feel like your hubby doesn't care about you if he doesn't chip in. If you're feeling unsupported, say something before you start resenting your spouse. The working mom of twins reached her boiling point when she realized she was on the go from a.m. "I told my husband, 'I'm a super mommy, but I need to take off my cape sometimes—you need to help out more,'" she says.
While constantly arguing with your husband doesn't make for a happy marriage, your relationship can suffer as badly if you hold back feelings until you finally explode.
"We go from being passive to being aggressive, when it's optimal to be assertive," says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph D, author of The fight: "You're too obsessed with your phone/i Pad." After a long day, you want to catch up with your husband—not compete with Angry Birds or whoever's texting him for his attention.
"It's inevitable that an in-law or one of your hubby's buddies will offend at some point, and your partner's failure to defend you might leave you fuming.