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They are not out to win at their partner's expense.Alongside of their willingness to admit wrongs and to choose compromise whenever possible, they are also confident in their own contributions.
They have a keen sense of perspective, and don't use humor to lighten up situations that need to stay serious. Every time I tried to tell my boss what we needed to do to save the deal, I get undermined. I know he'll pretend he didn't hear me and then steal the idea.I know I've been getting better but you do have a history of being disappointed with me. They do not allow themselves to be pulled into emotional cascades when it doesn't work for them or the relationship. I'm so stressed out."She: "Wow, I really am, aren't I? You're my rock."Keeper: (smiling) "I'm sure I get rattled on occasion, too.Whether making love, spring cleaning, or planting a garden, people thrive in individual ways. I think I swallowed a whole lot of crap today and I'm taking it out on you. I just hate to see you so upset, especially by people who shouldn't matter that much.Their goal is to find meaning or joy in whatever they are doing.They're the first to admit that they don't respond as well to people who aren't willing to change their situation.Keepers don't use laughter to cover when they're feeling uncomfortable.
They have learned the value of timing and a compassionate heart, and can process sorrow and joy with the same gentle appreciation for life.
They have learned every phase of finding the right person, correcting their own dysfunctional behavior, and keeping competitive in the dating market.
Yet, they have not been successful in maintaining lasting relationships.
They don't automatically give up their point of view when challenged.
You know them by their combination of ego strength and flexibility.
I've watched these people carefully over many years.