Dating in your late thirties
Whether it’s online dating that’s your bag or you’d prefer to meet someone more ‘naturally’ – you’ve got to be in it to win it. Focusing more on what someone might have, be and give you is like watching a Disney film and making that your life goal. And, perhaps most importantly, don’t forget why you’re dating.
’Out of a surprisingly large number of replies, Simon’s stood out.I realised that since turning 35 three years ago, I hadn’t met anyone I liked romantically, who was also single, straight and interested in me. ’ one married ex-boyfriend wrote on my Facebook page. I joined running clubs, did acting classes and dance classes, went on skiing holidays and singles holidays and badgered my friends to set me up with their friends.Some attempts were more successful than others: a singles holiday to Greece made me feel like Elizabeth Taylor due to all the men after me, whereas one evening spent dinner dating with seven single women in their 40s and just two men — one of whom walked out after ten minutes — made me want to give up on the idea altogether.Whenever I was between boyfriends in the past, I would just enjoy life until another man came along — through work, mutual friends or our eyes meeting across a crowded room.But when I phoned a dating agency eight months ago, everything had taken on a new sense of urgency. ‘Haven’t you found yourself a husband yet, Bridgey? But don’t look desperate — men hate that.’ I went speed-dating, online-dating, wine-tasting dating, quiz-dating and dinner-dating.You don’t want to hear it, but, there are same basic rules of dating as a women, post thirty-five, that are worth following … Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (give me Angelina Jolie over Emma Watson any day) but it does mean you need to be realistic about the kind of men you’re going for.
Because the bastard about life is, that most thirty-five-year-old men are looking for a very different thing to most thirty-five-year-old woman.
Rule #2 Don’t be a cliché – he doesn’t need to know your life plan on a first date.
Having said that, if you are a dating a guy who is clearly a player or just in it for a bit of fun, stop wasting your time.
The world today is full of ‘helpful’ advice – useful tips about finding your inner goddess, meeting the men of your dreams and stumbling on true love.
Sadly, much of this advice is complete crap, especially when you’re in your mid thirties. I know, I know, you don’t feel it, and we’re all looking younger these days, but mother nature doesn’t lie and, like it or not, you are beginning to swim in a pool of younger fish.
They are in their playboy prime years whilst you are looking to settle down - and a forty-year-old man is far more likely to be thinking marriage and kids than a thirty-three-year-old one. Talking of which, *never* mention marriage and kids.