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Even if your personal hatred is still amazingly strong and vivid and determinate your behaviour amongst those who love you. As an individual one cannot do much about it, I guess, but writing a book. My first name will be the only real one in these sentences, because of the privacy of those mentioned. I 'll use a name that is "different", it will not be too difficult to follow my story, because the story itself is in focus here, not the people themselves, they but all play a major role, not the leading one... Moreover, any resemblance with any living creature on this planet will be purely coincidental. Therefore, in my book I could now easily state that Carla has a big fat ass and that she grows long black hair on her back. I have to warn you all : the facts in this book will be hard and merciless; as I have been through them…as I have lived them through, leaving horrible scarves on my soul….leaving them as an open end to a healing process to begin…with this book? It is now time to start with some kind of structure, so you can get a grip on the facts as they pass by and as they might tell you what the final result will be as the ultimate lines of this book will be written described in the next pages is part of a fiction novel and any possible resemblance with an actual existing situation or any real physical persons are merely pure coincidental, non valid and thus not existing. Sometimes I see individuals fulfilling a profession in a such a convincing way that they physically have “become” their profession. I will live my years to come and I will die as a painter, an artist, a visual artist I do not like the world "artist" that much though, it has of course to do with my being so “shy” I do not like to think about myself as an “artist” that sounds so self indulgent By finding at last that I can no longer deny that I am a painter, a creative artist, I did find a certain part of me not all, no, no there are still some essential parts missing, drifting around in the insecurity of thought and uncertainty of the unstable mind. It makes me feel a little more assured that everything would be all right. However, I will try to explain: some point I missed the connection to being or becoming an adult. But, at the age of four, when every normal kid starts to ask "why" to his mom, about everything it encounters in life, I did the same. This "why" phase of every child is ending some point in time, in my brain it was continuing to work with growing intensity. This, of course sounded as music of Neil Diamond in my ears, coming from this controle freak of a women Meddle, who even would sign the sheets of toilet paper before using them, if she could do so.

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It is going to be one of the most horrible stories of this new millennium. May be I invented the combination of those two words as such. "Racism" has been used against me, against my person, in my own country. In a way I am trying to describe in my book, emerging in the next pages to come. I had to carry all sins of this world on my shoulders, anyway, so… Or they (them) throw some other sins on the never ending heap that was already laying as a huge obstacle on my shoulders. It only depends on the will and ability of the receiver if the student is indeed willing to learn. But I have to concentrate on the book and its end result. Once Tanja started her discourse about Matrix Inc, it was as if nothing could stop her she went on and on and on as if she was sent from heaven to introduce me by telling me the most boring company details I had ever heard in my life “I hope to see you soon back in this office..;” she said. Nor could I foretell that this freezing internal cold, over and over again inflicted by words and actions of Anissa,-Don’t we all? But I was happy that all went so smoothly and I was about to say goodbye to my dearest mrs I-cannot-delegate-stress -my -back -a -little –more Nicole Meddle. This was the most important thought and most valuable element in the cause of things for me currently. They all had the same kind of expression on their face. The chairman, the upper chief of these “happy few”, had some very special deviations in his behaviour as chairman. You ‘d better never forget, or worse, mix up, the odd, and even days! Conversations on that level amongst these “equals” usually ended up by bragging about the amount of people they had “underneath” them: Usually till business drops, that is Then they all start to protect their own jobs rather than looking how to preserve the companies results I became a “manager” because there was no one else at that time to do this shitty job. She had a huge status within this company, in fact it was an organisation of Employers in the metal industry, a kind of very fancy organisation where all those very important people, ceo’s, directors, general managers, real businessmen and women from the finest sort, all brought in with fancy black limo’s, met, joined for dinners and lunches, and had early breakfast buffets, came to lectures and informative evenings, organised evenings with our king, the real one, Albert 2 (“thank God, this lunch was not virtual”, he used to joke around, after his sumptuous, excessive meal – every body laughed, because, If the king laughs, you have to laugh too; this is arranged within a special Belgian law to protect, that is for sure. You actually could see how important all those people were. The poor bastard So the hospital was closed down and then bought by this very exquisite club of fine rulers of the Belgian metal industry. I must say, they made a hell of a building out of it. You can see that they have a close connection to the financial highlights, the bankers, who were invited constantly in their new, beyond-modern palace, as the final result was at least, more than astonishing, words fail actually. Can anyone tell me that this is “normal” behaviour? It was just a title to introduce me to the upper leading class, the upper few, the “leading ones” who for all, stood “above” others, who thought they had everything under control. I crawled on the floor; my back forced me down, after another attempt of her inappropriate superior executive behaviour. Who can do things better, who can speak better, who write better English, who are better at you name it I got it insecure about everything. Those attacks of insecurity of mind, behaviour and soul came regularly, on unpredictable occasions, making my life miserable... Constantly, all the time Mornings, when more than ten people stood before me at the reception desk, asking for the right location to attend their meetings, she used to phone me, giving me urgent tasks to be fulfilled immediately. When I ordered the sandwiches for our meeting executives, I needed her signature on the fax, so she could discuss the amount ordered. So, when time is appropriate, I ‘ll inform you about those bygone days and their direct input in what is going to take place when the final letters of this book have been put on paper.construction aid worker, trying to build my own castle ” I thought by myself, entering the Matrix Inc office. Totally insecure, always afraid of those, “them”, who know things better. As a worm I had time enough later to crawl from underneath the rock of life to try to see the sun again.The book is slowly revealing some crucial facts that are contributing to a final event that is going to take place after finishing the book. The only way to defend myself and my family, is to register all facts and figures; all data involved, so that you, the reader can be the judge. I read about the many times some well known and established authors were contemplating about their first sentence and how it inflicted the sales of their book. I am not just writing a book because I want to write a book, no... Whilst proclaiming these repetitive lines, loud and clear, all together in church, we all used to beat ourselves with our fists on our chest : "because of my fault, because of my fault, because of my fault..."Day after day, week after week, year after year, even before puberty...you think It had some impact on my state of mind? That is, this is what I am now, after a long, hard, struggling search for values and truth…in this life. All the information that is gathered by the reader, by you, yes you…. “I bet you do”, I thought, a bit feeling guilty about judging on a person only because of her appearance, which was, at least to be described as unpleasant to look at, which was the understatement of the year. As I thought I was now altering my future for the better, in my crystal-clear benefit, I never could have guessed I was accomplishing the complete opposite and that I was working myself into a situation beyond reason, nor association with whatever could have been Different signs from different angles were presented to me, on a golden plate, but I did not want to recognize, nor identify them. was wrong, completely wrong, but I could not grasp what it was, nor did I see its relevance nor its threat to me as a person.

The book is as it were, a kind of introduction to what the future is going to bring me. Or could it be a very clear information on what is going to happen once this book reaches its final sentences to be published. Is life telling me what to do or am I telling life what to do? Do remember that in real life reality often appears to be exceeding the worst possible imagination. So you can be the witness of this total unjust and impropriate behavior in a country that is host for so many people from all over the world. You bet it did…No wonder I couldn't develop some kind of feeling that even came close to self-esteem. After you have read this book until the end, if you are brave enough, you will conclude that I absolutely need to see one, I guess…Because this is only the beginning, the beginning of a journey through life with ups and severe downs, with highlights and incredibly dark ages, an awesome but yet devastating journey that I cannot describe in a few sentences. Because what has happened is too intense to summarize in just a few words…This is just not done. if there are any, will lead to one final act at the end of this book. I took a seat at what as going to be, or supposed to be my future desk. For me, the relief to get rid of awful mrs Meddle had such a high impact on my scale of priorities, that all other anomalies and weird irregularities seemed to be even quite all right.

You are welcome to read along as my book is growing from zero towards completion. That is why I do hope you all read along with me, as these pages grow by the day until my work is complete and my story has been told. It will lead to a super climax inflicting me and my family. Because they are not aware that what they do, determines their lives so much that they stopped being creative and refrained from any critical thinking whatsoever. There are, thank God (I do not believe in God, but I like the expression anyway) , exceptions Maybe those people have found their way here on this planet. Because life is giving them what they expect from it. Right in front of me, my desk made connection with the two desks of the two beauties, Anissa and Inez. “Here, at Matrix Systems Inc, we like to work with people who are absolute independent and can make decisions of their own.

I have no idea how long it will take to complete it, but I am intended to do so, whatever it will described in the next pages is part of a fiction novel and any possible resemblance with an actual and existing situation or real physical persons are merely pure coincidental, non valid and thus not existing.a book about pestering in the office, about reverse racism, about discrimination, about brutal unacceptable behaviour, still overwhelmingly present in our society today, maybe even close or next to you, but deliberately negleted by our gouvernemental organisations,anti-pestering governemental authorities, malfunctioning psychiatric and psychological guidance, worsening professional help to actually do something about this devastating situation, which all will lead to a very specific outcome."racism" is a bad word. I want to tell you this, because I also believe that what I have been through may never ever happen again, not with any other creature on this mother planet earth. So, if I, for instance, as a matter of speaking, would want to say something about an old colleague of mine, living amongst us with the name Livia Goldfield, I will not use this name, no sir... So be attentive and see where these facts will lead to. Many of you were programmed to be or to become “them”. In addition, after the long search, through the years, after all I have been through, and what I am going to tell you all about in the next chapters, I do have come to find myself as well, being what I am "a painter", that is now a complete certainty. In between those two states of my mind, I have been many other things. I have to admit, as I said before, that being a child, what I was at birth, as you all were, is something I have kept all my life in me. In addition, it is quite a burden to carry, you know. For all those who nicely rolled into their puberty and then stumbled out into final full adultery, this may be very hard to understand. I am mentally undressing for you, so you could understand to the full what is going to happen in later chapters, why I react in certain ways (and not in other) and why I do as I do, why I did as I did.. Mistakes, you cannot afford, and if made one, you are the sole responsible to solve the problems you caused yourself.”, Maria told me.

Mr Moipatron is furious the moment he finds out and starts an offensive to get rid of Patrick the hard way. With a strong emphasis on the please part, the second “please”, so I knew that this lady definitely was pissed of Because I could only hear her, she must have been one of “them”.“Hi..”, they both replied. “Our customer Service needs some serious aid from someone who really knows how to handle a customer.

For some Machiavellian reason mr Moipatron had made an alliance together with Anissa, former aficionado of mr Dujournot and fucked up mistress of many to maintain her powerful position, close to the Money stream of Matrix Belgium... The one with the dark long hair stood up and came towards me. Quite often things are now not what they should be ” she added mysteriously, obviously not quite satisfied with those two beauties.

Over the years the Moroccan Anissaall without once being corrected by her even supportive superiors. I arrived there, early, as usual, because I am always early on an appointment (see my strong sense of responsibility) because I wanted another job. I had no idea what she was talking about, she did not explain to the full extend.