Advice on dating a single mother
When you don't have anyone to answer to, come home to, or care for, your schedule belongs to you. A woman with children can't, nor could she even if she wanted to be. Daily life is planned out because children need consistency and boundaries, and she needs to maintain her sanity.
To remedy my fears, I turned to seasoned dating coaches, Julianne Cantarella, MSW, and Elisabeth Lamotte, a licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert, to figure out the biggest dating mistakes single moms make (and the smart moves that should replace them). "It's not only the woman who can be hurt if the relationship ends, but the children as well." A savvy single mom should wait as long as possible before introducing her kids to the potential boyfriend and never make the intro around the holidays, the experts advise."Women should gain a sense of her boyfriend's interaction based on how he treats her and possibly his own children if he has them," says Cantarella, who suggests erring on the side of caution.Since my separation three and half years ago, I've noticed a growing number of my contemporaries (in their early to mid-30s) join the force of divorcees.Recently, several of my freshly divorced friends have confided in me about their struggles."Once the boyfriend is introduced there is no going back, and expectations are raised," she adds.What to do instead: Time is the best measure of knowing when to introduce the children.We listen and listen, but who is there to listen to us?
It is a simple action -- to be silent and give attention to object of your affection. Some of us haven't had meaningful or passionate sex in years.
I missed out on the 10 years of dating and hard knock life lessons of an un-committed Gen X'er.
I had no clue how to behave or what to expect from another mate, not to mention the men I was connecting with had no experience with a woman with children, posing another layer of complications.
We have undergone massive life shifts from single-hood to married life, pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding; enduring radical changes to our bodies and minds.
We are connected, interwoven with the lives of our children.
My advice is to be sensitive to her single/dating immaturity.